J.L.H.X

was taken last year

came across this blog belonging to the GF of Regular serviceman "Lam Jia Hao Clifton"
who passed away on 11june while undergoing jungle orientation training in Brunei.

things just happen
ppl can have difference mindset

i read her blog and i cried through out
http://memyselfmine.blogspot.com/

feel sad and sorry for her
it will be a very tarf road for her, of cos everyone hope for her to move on
but its not as easy as say thn done
while readin,u can feel the strong bond between

nd not to be spoken

Commitment made between them was gone
yearning for him soo much
promises not fulfilled

I was thinking one day if im really just gone like this or bf gone?
wht will me or bf do?
for a min i remember so many things which bf sarcrific for me
he did not outcast me because of some mistakes i create big in life
he once told me the last thing he will do is leaving me
he cherish all things between us

unlike me, i tend to forget things but he will always be there
we have so many unexpected thgs goin on but we try to work things out
there is still lots of thgs left unexplainable

but for this vey min, i would like to say a very BIG thank to Bf
for everythg
for the lurve
for the hugs and warm
for kisses he will always give
for everythg he try to do to please
and sorry bf, for everythg i have done

another thing, i thought of my grandma.
its been 3yrs since she left and enjoy to a world of no pain
i hope she's living happily there

at times i really thk if she's around how things would be difference
when the point she left, i thought things will be so hard to go on
its was just so sudden
i received a call during work and they say rush home
but halfway, aunt called to say she have pass on
was so unbearable, i try to control but it doesnt work
when i saw her on her bed
she was still as beautiful as ever, i stay beside her through out the whole night till early morn when they prepared for her

during tht time, i thought proberly its was a relief for her to pass
as she has too many illness, but back to reality it was not this case tht i can accept it

for the next passin days, i didnt cried at all.
still, i played with my cousins there.
till tht very last day, i thought nth will happen
but i couldnt control myself anymore
i saw my mummy, my brothers,my aunts.etc cried
at tht time, it was like finally but where is grandma?
it was so lost w/o her

i miss her soo much till now
i wanted to tell her we are living happily now
don worry for us, we want her to enjoy life over there too

i also want to tell her, and everyone
i had a big big wish, is tht i want everyone i know and my families and friends
to be mine once again in the next life

ppl may thk crazy,stupid,got nx life meh!!!
but i don see there is, it may have or not. but i just want to say tht
i appreciate ppl around me
I'm truely loved

and i miss her soo too
can we be once again?

but i hate tht of hers too
i never hate someone but only him
becos of a sentence
he change my whole impression and life

change my thkin tht ppl are really so diff
not as simple as u think
HATE is a sin but naturally i still do

i really love her as a friend lotsa,part of me
it was my mistake tht i make use
times i thk is she doin the same thg as me or thinkin wht we are to do
shit whatever. did she tell anyone

miss all my old friends
Kindergarden,Childcare,Pri,Sec,Ite,Ex-Collegues.etc
i hope there are living on happily too

Really wishes things will goes smoothly, never to be afraid but stand up and face it